Doc-Ken's Kronicles

One day a Naval Officer passed by a work station and spotted a Chief Petty Officer that had just given the command "Fall-out, carry out the Plan of the Day." Impressed by the CPO's command presence he asked, "Have you ever thought about becoming an officer?"

NBA OR NFL?

36 have been accused of spousal abuse

7 have been arrested for fraud

19 have been accused of writing bad checks

117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses

3 have done time for assault

71, repeat 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit

14 have been arrested on drug-related charges

8 have been arrested for shoplifting

Well, although I have my own personal advance directives and such documents, I thought I would post this one here... have serious and half joking, but the gist of what should be considered! I came across this by accident and grabbed it for my own needs.

Take it for what it's worth!

I, KJR, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.

Husband's note on refrigerator for wife:
Someone from the Gyna Colleges called.
They said the Pabst beer is normal.
I didn't know you liked beer.

NAVY NEWS "CHIEF SAVES JUNIOR OFFICER"

U.S. Navy Chief Petty Officer Saves The Life of Junior Officer During Horse-Back Riding Mishap

Yet another unselfish act of heroism performed by a man wearing Anchors:

A young lieutenant decides to try horseback riding, even though he has had no lessons or prior experience. He mounts the horse, unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into action. As it gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, the LT. begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, he grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot get a firm grip. He tries to throw his arms around the horse's neck, but he slides down the side of the horse anyway!

Occasionally I get asked about where I live and am currently stationed. This was found on the net and sent to me, and is a very good description of where I currently live.

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For the purposes of this document, we will refer to the area as "Norfolk", pronounced exactly that way by Northerners who settle here. Southerners who settle here pronounce it "Nawfalk", sailors pronounce it "No****" and everyone else calls it Norfick". The word "Norfolk" actually originated in Southern England, gradually over time as a combination of the words "North" and "Folk", their way of referring to their brethren to the north, very much like our own term "Goddamnyankees."

Don't you just hate when this happens?

Essential vocabulary additions for the workplace

1. BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
3. ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

Cancel your credit cards before you die This sounds like as good advice as don't rent a casket when you die.

It's not just the government... Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die. This is priceless, and so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today.

A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, now is somewhere around $60.00.

An old southern country preacher from Georgia had a teenage son named David and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it.

One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects: a Bible, a silver dollar, a bottle of whisky, and a Playboy magazine.